Events or lack thereof
So last was Parking. It was a rather bland time and realizations past catch up in blinding ways. It is difficult though, to realize something, to know the logic and the truth of something but lack the emotional capacity to let it fully manifest.
An old friend of mine who worked with me here tried sharing with me the idea of giving up in the search for love - and just letting it happen. It is the whole letting the sari slip from your hand and baring yourself to fate.
Last night at Parking, I realized why I've started not enjoying myself as much as I used to. When I first began Parking I did it with no expectations...those were nights where I could revel in nights of sensual mirth...nights that gave of themselves simply because the seeker came without seeking. Those were times when I could go there alone and have a good time just dancing by myself and enjoying the night.
Now, when I go there, I go with a hope that at least tonight I will meet someone, will dance with someone..whatever - but I feel like it is this desire that makes me less aware of the potential to just have a good time and more aware of people around me.
O well...I've no intention of stopping my Thursday ritual - I just need to mature to that level of non-expectation, I guess...or maybe I'm waaaay off and will then realize some other more profound truth..lol
So last was Parking. It was a rather bland time and realizations past catch up in blinding ways. It is difficult though, to realize something, to know the logic and the truth of something but lack the emotional capacity to let it fully manifest.
An old friend of mine who worked with me here tried sharing with me the idea of giving up in the search for love - and just letting it happen. It is the whole letting the sari slip from your hand and baring yourself to fate.
Last night at Parking, I realized why I've started not enjoying myself as much as I used to. When I first began Parking I did it with no expectations...those were nights where I could revel in nights of sensual mirth...nights that gave of themselves simply because the seeker came without seeking. Those were times when I could go there alone and have a good time just dancing by myself and enjoying the night.
Now, when I go there, I go with a hope that at least tonight I will meet someone, will dance with someone..whatever - but I feel like it is this desire that makes me less aware of the potential to just have a good time and more aware of people around me.
O well...I've no intention of stopping my Thursday ritual - I just need to mature to that level of non-expectation, I guess...or maybe I'm waaaay off and will then realize some other more profound truth..lol
